false alarm!

We've all heard the tales of a friend of a friend who scratched an infected bug bite and suddenly thousands of baby spiders erupted from the wound. Or the friend who harbored a parasitic worm from eating sushi. Or the one where a roach crawls in your ear while you're sleeping. I'm dismissive of these stories, not because I don't believe them, but because the likelihood of it happening to me is very low.

That is until tonight when my right ear began to itch in a most uncomfortable and incessant manner. Immediately I thought of my sister, who warned me about the creeping roaches and how she slept with earplugs in her ears for months. Hypochondria took over and webMD was my enabler.

I was able to find one study with the instance of 89 roaches being removed from ears in hospital emergency rooms in 1993. I find 89 alarming, but on average 90 people in the US are killed by lightning each year.

I'm not thrilled, but I am OK with the odds.

Also, a roach in the ear canal is reportedly a massively painful affliction. Based on this data I'm comfortable with my self-diagnosis: just crazy. Not: hosting a roach in my ear canal.

One last note, if you do find yourself in serious pain and feel something moving around in your ear clearly you should go to the emergency room. However, they simply douse the ear with mineral oil which kills the bug. Then they fish it out. So, if you have some mineral oil and a bug in your ear, you may wish to do that part yourself*, as the wiggling of the bug can damage your ear drum. Also, once the bug is dead, most of the pain abates.

*I am not a medical professional. My father was, but I doubt that counts for anything. As such, my advice is worthless and based on a ten minute internet search. Now should I find myself in this situation, I have outlined precisely what I would do. Keep in mind, I engage in all manner of foolish activity and therefore may not qualify as the type of person from which you might be comfortable receiving advice. That is all.

Oread

An oread is a mountain nymph associated with the Goddess Artemis, later in Roman times known as Diana. Probably because she enjoyed hunting in the mountains. Nymphs of all kinds are young, nubiles. They seem to enjoy dancing naked in the woods. Which makes me wonder about ancient biting bugs. I digress. Nymphs were often the target of satyrs, satyrs are sometimes portrayed as ugly & old, sometimes as sexy and half-goats. All satyrs are sexually ravenous and drink much wine.

hopelessly pretentious and aggrieved by Levis

That Levi's commercial was not written by some agency genius. It's Walt freaking Whitman. & I don't know how he'd feel about it, frankly.

From Leaves of Grass...

Pioneers! O Pioneers!
COME my tan-faced children,
Follow well in order, get your weapons ready,

Have you your pistols? have you your sharp-edged axes?

Pioneers! O pioneers!


For we cannot tarry here,

We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger,

We the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend,

Pioneers! O pioneers!


O you youths, Western youths,

So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride and friendship,

Plain I see you Western youths, see you tramping with the fore-
most


Pioneers! O pioneers!


Have the elder races halted?

Do they droop and end their lesson, wearied over there beyond
the seas?


We take up the task eternal, and the burden and the lesson,

Pioneers! O pioneers!


All the past we leave behind,

We debouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world,

Fresh and strong the world we seize, world of labor and the march,

Pioneers! O pioneers!


We detachments steady throwing,

Down the edges, through the passes, up the mountains steep,

Conquering, holding, daring, venturing as we go the unknown ways,

Pioneers! O pioneers!


We primeval forests felling,

We the rivers stemming, vexing we and piercing deep the mines
within,


We the surface broad surveying, we the virgin soil upheaving,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

no Cerberus on craigslist

I've always wanted a dog, but once I found out about Cerberus, common canines have held little appeal.

In Greek and Roman mythology Cerberus is a three-headed dog who guards the gates of Hell (Hades), to prevent souls who have crossed the river Styx from escaping.

mandalas - just a fancy word I use for "handbag"

According to Jung mandala symbolizes "a safe refuge of inner reconciliation and wholeness."

For Carl Jung, mandalas are "vessels" into which we project our psyche. It is then returned to us as a way of restoring a damaged part of our psyche. He recognized that archetypes from many cultures were seen in this spontaneous expression of the unconscious.

I stand by my assessment. Handbags.

IT'S CONTAGIOUS!

Happiness, that is. And, also weight gain. Apparently behaviors are as contagious as bacteria and viruses.

Here are the highlights:
If a subject’s friend was happy that subject was 15% more likely to be happy
This happiness effect was shown to last up to 3 levels of separation away, so your friend's friend's friend could impact your personal level of happiness, even if you have never met.

Also, a friend who becomes happy while living within one mile of the individual increases the probability of that individual’s happiness by 25%. A mutual friend in the same scenario raises that figure to 65%.

Read the whole study yourself, here.

Rube Goldberg Machines

Rube Goldberg was a cartoonist, famous for his cartoons depicting highly complicated, convoluted, multiple step machines that completed very simple tasks.

200 year old political humor

I find few things funnier than a good history joke. One of my favorite topics is the brouhaha betwixt Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr Jr. It turns out, I'm not the only one who finds this entertaining.

This is a link to a hip-hop retelling of Hamilton's story, as told by Aaron Burr. President Obama is in the audience.
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNFf7nMIGnE

This is a tweet fight, ongoing and hilarious, between Mssrs. Hamilton & Burr. It lacks historical integrity, but makes up for it in hijinx.
http://twitter.com/the_real_ham/the-duel

the time was neither right nor wrong

Robert Frost - more than the road less traveled


Acquainted with the Night

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-by;
And further still at an unearthly height
One luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.